Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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