i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
