Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
