Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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