I got chris browned last night
literally had 100 drinks last night.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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