I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
