im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
