if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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