i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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