how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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