I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize