Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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