I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
