Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
