I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
