I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
