it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
