I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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