Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
