oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
