Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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