Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
