she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
