this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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