It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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