I wannas sexs uuuuu
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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