Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
