I'm jealous of your bromance
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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