you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We got so high we made milksteak
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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