Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
