I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize