I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
