Porn is love you can see.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
