I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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