12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
