i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
