We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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