So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
