Just fell off a train. Bad.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
