3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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