that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
