Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
