I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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