It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
