im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
