He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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