yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
