I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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