I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
organizing the empties. That sober.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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