On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
