I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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