The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
