Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
