i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
