and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
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You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
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I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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