i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
