well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
