I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
