I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Rumble strips road head = magical
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Enjoy the penises
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
