MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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