Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize