where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
